Catholic Community Commentary

Posts tagged “sex

Oh, Eliza, Little Liza Jane

(Written on Wednesday, Nov. 17)

Hi to all you bloggers,

     I’m all excited about tonight’s activities for our teenagers:  square dancing.  I love to square dance.  I grew up with it as part of family weddings and physical education in school.  I also square-danced when I used to have a date or two (boy, has that been a while).  I still call them for different functions, and now we have this activity as part of our religious education program.

    You may ask, “How is square dancing related to religious education?”  First of all, my cousin, Fr. Mel Lochtefeld, taught square dancing years ago.  Much of our faith comes from tradition.  I’m just continuing the tradition.

     Next, our students are studying the Theology of the Body.  So much is made of what is inappropriate.  We thought of a way to teach what is appropriate.  Just because you dance with someone of the opposite sex doesn’t mean that you are dating them. 

    My nieces and nephews have been square dancing with each other at weddings for years.  They’ve been dancing since they’ve been in grade school. To be able to hold hands with boundaries and a purpose is a good thing.  So much of what we teach in regards to the physical person is taught in response to fear or suspicion.  Dancing gives an outlet for good fun and social appropriateness.  

     The Church says, in John Paul’s writings on The Theology of the Body, that the physical aspect of man is good.  I believe that our square dancing lessons will bring out the good in our students and respect for the physical person. 

     If you’ve ever seen our students in sports, you know how physical they can be.  Tonight, they can see how they can work together to dance with the stars.  We need a name for our class.  “Dancing with the Stars” is taken.  Maybe someone can come up with a good name.    

     I’m off to practice my Li’l Liza Jane.            

     Fr. Mark

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Why Can’t I Have Sex Before Marriage?

           The question about having sex before Marriage is an important one to grasp. It hints at something more than a common, usual experience. It alludes to something desirous that needs to be treated in a special way. Thus it is imperative to understand the act of sex and how it can manifest love.

            The union of man and woman during sexual intercourse is a unique gift of giving and a clear role in the action of creation. The sanctity of sex is reflected in the ultimate communion of two people, the complete giving and receiving of one for another. In addition, that union may be further mirrored in a new human life. The act of sex brings man and woman together as one. It continues the story of creation. It must be an action of love.

            For this reason, we can not treat sex as a casual, earthly event. When we recognize the sacred nature of this union, we must surround it with the reverence and appreciation that it deserves. The Church looks to Christ to understand the complete giving of self for another and how to embrace full communion.

            When we consider how Christ became a man, suffered, died and rose for us, we have the truth about love. He is what love looks like. His witness shows that love is given totally, freely, faithfully, and fruitfully. He gave Himself without holding anything back. He did so freely, not forced. He remained faithful to us throughout his entire life on earth and continues to be with us in the Eucharist. The fruits of His action of love are mercy and the opening of Heaven.

            By using this lens to look at having sex before Marriage, we can see the shortcomings of that action. Pre-marital sex is not a total and faithful giving of oneself because it lacks a complete commitment, no witnessed pledge or vow. Pre-marital sex is not often given freely, but rather coerced as a ‘show of love’ or ‘just something that two people do next.’ Pre-marital sex does not strengthen the family unit that children need.

            With this truth of Christ before us, we see why sex is an action of love between husband and wife. Through the Sacrament of Marriage they have answered the questions that most identify a loving relationship:

  1. “Have you come here freely to give yourself to one another without reservation?”
  2. “Do you promise to be faithful until death?”
  3. “Do you promise to receive children lovingly from God?”

Their vows to one another are a witness to us that they desire to love one another as Christ loves his Church – TOTALLY, FREELY, FAITHFULLY, FRUITFULLY – and every time they unite in sex, it is a renewal of those vows.

–Jan