The question about having sex before Marriage is an important one to grasp. It hints at something more than a common, usual experience. It alludes to something desirous that needs to be treated in a special way. Thus it is imperative to understand the act of sex and how it can manifest love.
The union of man and woman during sexual intercourse is a unique gift of giving and a clear role in the action of creation. The sanctity of sex is reflected in the ultimate communion of two people, the complete giving and receiving of one for another. In addition, that union may be further mirrored in a new human life. The act of sex brings man and woman together as one. It continues the story of creation. It must be an action of love.
For this reason, we can not treat sex as a casual, earthly event. When we recognize the sacred nature of this union, we must surround it with the reverence and appreciation that it deserves. The Church looks to Christ to understand the complete giving of self for another and how to embrace full communion.
When we consider how Christ became a man, suffered, died and rose for us, we have the truth about love. He is what love looks like. His witness shows that love is given totally, freely, faithfully, and fruitfully. He gave Himself without holding anything back. He did so freely, not forced. He remained faithful to us throughout his entire life on earth and continues to be with us in the Eucharist. The fruits of His action of love are mercy and the opening of Heaven.
By using this lens to look at having sex before Marriage, we can see the shortcomings of that action. Pre-marital sex is not a total and faithful giving of oneself because it lacks a complete commitment, no witnessed pledge or vow. Pre-marital sex is not often given freely, but rather coerced as a ‘show of love’ or ‘just something that two people do next.’ Pre-marital sex does not strengthen the family unit that children need.
With this truth of Christ before us, we see why sex is an action of love between husband and wife. Through the Sacrament of Marriage they have answered the questions that most identify a loving relationship:
- “Have you come here freely to give yourself to one another without reservation?”
- “Do you promise to be faithful until death?”
- “Do you promise to receive children lovingly from God?”
Their vows to one another are a witness to us that they desire to love one another as Christ loves his Church – TOTALLY, FREELY, FAITHFULLY, FRUITFULLY – and every time they unite in sex, it is a renewal of those vows.
Jan Kahle received the following email last week from Ann Barrick, of the Pro Life Connection, about two girls who chose life after contemplating abortion (when approached at the Center for Choice, in Toledo, OH). Jan wanted as many people as possible to hear this story:
PRAISE GOD!! Two women chose life for their babies this evening!! I thought you might like to hear the stories… Enjoy!
A young couple passed by a sidewalk counselor as they went into the abortion center. The man took the information that the counselor offered but didn’t stop to talk, just looked at her strangely. Five minutes later, he walked out of the center right to her and stood there. She asked him if he wanted to talk. He said, “I just can’t stay inside that place! It’s so depressing!” The counselor talked to the man for awhile, and he kept trying to justify the abortion. Meanwhile, 3 teens, 1 pre-teen and a woman was praying on the sidewalk in front while another counselor was across the alley praying. God touched the man’s heart at some point in the conversation because he softened and eventually listened to the advice, “Go fight for your baby!” He said, “I’m going to go talk to her!”
Not much later, a girl and her mother came out and walked over to get rosaries from the counselor. They were there to schedule an abortion but told me that the plan had changed! The mother of the girl was in the room when the ultrasound was done, and when she saw on the screen her grandchild move, she said, “You’re not aborting my grandbaby!” Her daughter is 7 months along!! And that baby could be aborted!! Thanks be to God that the grandmother saw that ultrasound!!
As the girl was showing the ultrasound photo to the counselor, the young man mentioned earlier walked by so the counselor asked him to come look at the photo. After a few minutes of looking and talking, he told the counselor, “Go talk to her!” His girlfriend came over and talked to the counselor and told her that she wasn’t going to have an abortion. She said that her boyfriend had changed his mind after talking to the counselor and that helped her because she had seen “the children praying” and that made her not want to go through with it!!
PRAYER AND WITNESS!! The girl who’s mother saw the ultrasound—she was the recipient of prayers even if she never talked to anyone!! The same with the young woman—and the presence of those young people touched a chord. It is SO important that we never forget the power of prayer and witness!!
I also want to put a plug in for Heartbeat Pregnancy Center which is located across the alley from the Center for Choice. They, along with all pregnancy centers, are crucial in the pro-life movement. However, they particularly need our help since they ARE located near the abortion center! They need financial help to get an ultrasound machine and all the expenses that go along with it. Can you imagine if they had that and we could just walk someone over for an ultrasound?!? They also need more volunteers so they can be open longer hours, especially on Thursday evenings. Please let others know how important our local pregnancy centers are!!
Remember—40 Days for Life is coming and we need you prayer warriors! However, we are praying at the center year round. Visit the Stand & Pray page at ProLifeConnection.com for more information!
In Christ our Hope,